Drawn into Winter

For Unto Us This Day is Born

Mary awaits

I wonder how Mary felt as she entered her ninth month of pregnancy.

First she was told by an angel that she would give birth to a child.

Her relative, Elizabeth, became pregnant at a time

when she was believed to be too old to conceive.

She and her husband had to travel to Bethlehem

to register for the census.

And all the hotels were booked.

Oh my.

If it were me ... I don't know ...

What about you?

First Sunday in Advent

The waiting begins

The first Sunday in Advent

A day of hope

A day of expectation

Good things to come

Time at home

Time with friends

The waiting of the season

In the beginning was the word

And the word was with God

And the word was God

O Come O Come Emmanuel

Three times today I have heard the words of advent reference the second coming of Jesus. So often I have thought of it as the preparation of the birth of the Baby Jesus ... but no ... it goes much beyond that. The question ... "are you ready?". The response "here I am Lord" ... but it is more than that ...

One reference to the Advent said "During the four weeks before Christmas, Christians celebrate and look forward to both the first and second coming of Jesus. Advent can help us on our spiritual journeys, to set aside time to remember and give thanks for God’s gift of salvation through Christ, to remember how we are to live in the light of this reality, and to prepare our hearts for when Christ comes again."

The other: "The people who sit in darkness are waiting for the light that shines. Happy waiting and hope and expectation as we begin again a new year filled with promise and wonder. Jesus is coming."

So during these four weeks how will I spend my time? ... being busy running around? Gathering more things? Spending money? Getting things for "linen closets" (that was where my grandmother would sometimes put our "gifts".

I'd like this to be a different advent season ... a Christmas of sharing gifts of the heart with others .... gifts of time, of friendship, of love.

What are your plans for the advent season?

Family

We gather together to ask the Lord's blessings

We gather together to give thanks for the bounty

Four generations from 10 months to 89+ years.

I am blessed.

Come to the Table

Come to the table, all is ready. Join in the thanksgiving. There is no application, no processing fee. Come empty handed, come with food in hand. All I ask, is that you bring your list of Thanksgiving, for that which is easy to give thanks, and that which is hard. Through both we can learn and grow. God has given us abundantly ... so that we may give to others as Thanksgiving is really is about GIVING ...

So come to the table.
Give thanks for what you have
Give thanks for what you have received

Now give to others.
Give in thanks ... with a joyful heart.

Stop By Sometime

Do Drop Inn, Barstow CA

Bar, Long Since Closed!

If you are ever in the area of Rochester ... do drop in sometime. I can't promise that the house will be clean ... I can promise that there will be dog hair someplace waiting to be vacuumed , a friendly golden retreiver who throw his 85 pounds at you in a friendly hell0 (abeit a bit overwhelming), a glass of wine, a slice of cheese, something cooked up, a fire, candles, and even an extra room if you decide to spend the night.

Was it Mary or Martha that was the "entertainer". And I have often wondered who I am? Am I Mary or Martha?

Now as they went on their way, he entered a certain village, where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. She had a sister named Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet and listened to what he was saying. But Martha was distracted by her many tasks; so she came to him and asked, "Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself? Tell her then to help me." But the Lord answered her, "Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things; there is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her" (Luke 10:38-42).

Ahh I wish I was Mary ... but I think I am more Martha ... maybe Martha had a bit of ADD ... heck ... maybe she was just misunderstood. I'm not sure she was worried. Distracted, yes. Wanting to serve, yes. Yet I do hope that I have some of Mary in me.But if not ... "do drop in" so I can serve you ... and work on my Mary "temperament".

Who is more dominant in you, Mary or Martha?

Take a Bread Break

La Farine, Oakland, CA

We come together to break bread ... at the altar, at the coffee shop, in our homes. Together when we sit, kneel, or stand we share this life giving food.

Give us this day our daily bread
Let us break bread together
Manna: Bread of life

The fresh baking of bread
There is nothing quite like it ...
Comforting ...
Revealing ...

In the breaking of our bread ... we break open our hearts ...
And in our open hearts we become vulnerable
And in our vulnerability we live fully

Communicating

As a young child I remember the game "telephone". Very simple ... whisper something simple to the person next to you ... and then they tell the next, and so on. Even after three people the original message seems to be already changed. Next image ... two cans ... one string. You can see them ... two kids talking to each other

Ahhh but I think communication really has become much more complicated. Phone, text, computer, email, skype, video. Wires can so easily be crossed. Did the person want my opinion when I was sent an email? or was it information only. Do I answer the question ... if my name is in the TO line? or the CC line? or the BCC line? And what if I accidently send the "thread" to someone. Then there are the text messages ... did they get them? Or the voice mail?

Ahhhh ... I miss the day of "party lines".

Now if you are reading this ... and don't know what a party line is ... ask your parents. They should know. If they don't, go the next generation and check with grandparents.

No wonder our lines of communication get crossed ...

So in advance, I apologize.

Let's try it again.

Not on the run

Not on the fly

Not via email

Let's meet for coffee.

There's cup of love waiting to be shared.

Dreams

It was a fitful night. Not sure why. Other than a different house, different bed, pillow too big, and a bit too hot. Whine whine whine. Tremendously thankful for a bed, a roof, etc. My blessings have been and continue to be amazing ...

Dreams were weird ... folks from my past ... I even woke myself up and asked why they were all there. Didn't stay awake enough to hear the answer! I know ... chicken!

Our minds are cobwebs of our lives ... some more clear at times that others ...

What are your dreams like?

Bridge

Night to day
Shore to shore
Season to season
Life to death
Fall to winter

We are always connected
We are never alone

Active Waiting

The title of today's post comes from my daily email from the Nouwen society (I strongly suggest you follow it!).

What a wonderful image as we get close to the season of advent. And yes, I do prefer advent to Christmas (don't tell my folks!).

During advent I am drawn into the darkness. Less lights, more candles. Less noise, more melodies. Less stuff, more space. Think about it ... Joseph and Mary ... traveling with all their possessions and pregnant. Ending up in a stable.

As I prepare for advent the house and office are transformed ... as I am drawn into actively waiting during the season ... the pleading words of O Come O Come ...

Time to Curl Up!

When one is invisible ...

Sometimes it is a good strategy to just curl up ....

Under a comforter of course ... with a good book.

A wonderful pillow (or two or three)

And when possible a fire for atmosphere.

Sleep well, my friends.

Invisible

I've sat beside you several times and call you by name. Yet there is a blank look on your face and I introduce myself again. I feel invisible. Laughter surrounds me I want to join in the conversation, yet when I talk, it grows quiet. Social exchanges. Not sure what to say. Envying those who are so comfortable ... they are people magnets. Yet I am invisible.

Have you ever felt invisible?

Now the day is over

The day is over ... its been a busy one ...

Time to unwind ... quiet ...

Even the tapping of the computer keys seem a bit unnerving.

Candles lit

The warmth of the air

As my breathing slows and I focus

I think of all the things to be grateful for

The warmth of a house

Resources to pay bills

A worship community

Honest conversation

Folks willing to wash the dishes

Butternut carrot soup

Yet even amongst the gratitude the nags approach

Can't they just say thank you

Why are they late again

Please return the message

It gets me nowhere

Back to gratitude

My life

My family

A job

Friends

mmmm life is good ...

That's be to God

52 Sundays Ago

Its been a year ....
I've been keeping this blog "active" ...

sometimes more consistently than others ...
But SUNDAY November 14th 2008 I wrote my first entry:

Return from Exile

52 weeks ago I opened the door

and since then have been wandering .

From mornings to nights

With families and friends

With a camera in hand

A computer on my lap ...

Sunrises sunsets

Making choices along paths

Somedays I've turned around and went back

Other days I have walked forward

I may continue ...

I may take a break ...

Thanks for following

It Has Arrived

No denying it. The leaves are frozen, the frost is on the ground. Old man winter and the snow is lurking in the skies and on the horizon. The patterns of water over the seasons ...

Choices

Every day we are faced with choices. Which shoes to wear (okay not everybody has to make that decision). Which email to answer. Who to call? Which way do I walk the walk ... to the right or two the left. Every choice gives us entry into an experience. And each experience will be a different. The wonderful news ... is we have choices.

Let us go to the door, either one, open it ... and welcome the experience.

Okay, it may not be that great ... but it is an experience!

Knock and the door shall be opened!

Veteran's Day

Today is a day of mixed emotions.

Respecting and honoring our veterans.

Working to care for their children.

Being thankful for my father and others who have served in military.

Yet today I wish that war did not exist ...

I wish that we would be as focused on building peace ...

War does not bring peace

I wish we work end world hunger, poverty, and hate.

A year ago I walked the beaches of Normandy.

I walked past the rows and rows of crosses at the cemetery.

I drove through towns that still fly the American flag in thanks for June 1944.

I was moved by the memorials ... wondering what it must have been like for those that landed on that fateful day ... and those that came in the weeks to follow.

I stood in the town square in Rennes France where my father had stood 60 years earlier in the days following the liberation.

FDR said it best: "More than an end to war, we want an end to the beginning of all wars -- yes, an end to this brutal, inhuman and thoroughly impractical method of settling the differences between governments."

"One cannot simultaneously prepare for war and create peace."

Let us create peace

Whistle While You Work

goodbye

why are goodbyes so dang hard? In part because we are so committed to the concrete ... that which we can touch, hold, feel. Thomas doubted Christ's resurrection. He had to touch Christ's hand to believe. We don't die to eternal life ... we live in eternal life. Years earlier a tree was planted from another from years earlier. Fast forward to fall 2009 as the cold weather comes, colors change from green to brown, then one afternoon a cold wind and rain blow through. Leaves swirl as they blow toward the ground. Soon it will find itself next spring as mulch in a garden. The cycle it is still giving and living. Yes, goodbyes are hard ... touching a place deep within our hearts ... and we too feel a twinge ... shed a tear. But also deep within our heart the relationship which was ... because the relationship which is ... nourishing our growth.

Walk into the silence

What is silence? What happens during silence?

The moon rising from the east ...

floating across the heavens ...

gliding down to western horizon.

The opening of a rose ...

spreading its petals to greet the world.

Leaves falling in the breeze

Water flowing down the stream

The breath of a baby curled up for the night,

snug in the softness of cotton.

Mormor curled in her bed ...

breathing her last ...

moving on in eternal life.

Between birth and death ....

silence connects us to the heart of God.

The deep sounds of the beating heart.

In silence ... we can find God's rhythm

In silence ... is God.

walk into the silence

Grief

War brings tears ....

War brings death ...

Tonight I will light 12 candles

12 candles for those that died today at Ft. Hood

I do not have enough candles to represent all the loss.

There are not enough candles in Rochester to commemorate all the tears that are shed

The children who cry at night

Tonight's shooter ... a wounded helper

A wounded helper that broke

God be with all of use

Forgive us our sins

as we forgive those who sin against us.

Peace be yours this night.

Waiting for you!

There something special about dogs. They lament when you leave and love it when you come home. We've all read those lists about why dogs are so much better than ....

But I am pretty clear that

dogs are animals first ...

dogs second ...

this one a golden retriever third

and Teddy fourth.

But is it the fourth that says ...

I'm glad you're coming back!!!

Walking in the presence

Living and walking in the presence of the living God.

Have you noticed that nothing in this world is stagnant? As people we are constantly evolving. Who we are today is different than yesterday and we will be different tomorrow. The neighborhood I walk in the morning is different than when I walked it 12 hours earlier. There are less leaves on one tree, and different colors on another. The tree that changes colors first is now barren. The people who live in the homes, the babies, the children, the grandparents have changed. The animals that wander during the night, those I see and those too small to see, they to have changed. The moon has changed ever so slightly … it is in a different place and I see less of it. The clouds … the stars … the trees …. the creek. All are different. Each of these touched by the hand of God.

Yes … we live in the presence of the living God.

Living in the Present

The screen read 32 degrees. The first morning when the temperature hit the freezing mark. This signaled a need to pile on the clothes ... a turtleneck, sweatshirt, vest, real gloves, and icelandic hat. All that was missing was heavy pants and wool socks. What was I thinking 20 minutes into the walk ... it was just 32 degrees. Too early for the woolies .... there would be plenty of time to wear them in the months ahead. Instead it was time to live in the present.

As I headed out the moon was glowing like a new silver dollar ... the dense clouds had formed a V shape welcoming the moon to come in and let the sun have its glory. In the present the crisp air hit my cheeks, Teddy went straight to the pile of leaves that I built yesterday sniffing around to find the right spot to leave his mark. Finally we were ready. The neighborhood has changed the past 24 hours ... it seemed as though everyone was preparing for the Thursday leaf pick up and piles abounded block by block. There was a odd sense of starkness crossing some property lines ... homeowners that decided deciduous was not for them ... as there was only deep green grass. (I'll take the glory of the trees ... and the shade they provide any day!). Suddenly what seemed like the sidewalk was filled with leaves ... clearly no raking had been done here. But it gave the child in me a few minutes of glee as I shuffled along and heard them crunch.

Living in the present ... not worried about the day ... enjoying the sounds of the morning.

Living in the present looking ahead and watching the deer begin their morning retreat to safety of Ellison Park for the day. Even Teddy took a break from sniffing to see them up ahead.

Living in the present ... and discovering the clouds to the west a gentle pink ... the sun must be coming up behind me ... or perhaps the moon is casting the glow this morning.

I realize that the hat was a bit much this morning ... that 32 doesn't mean winter. My head is hot. I wasn't living in the present I was thinking January past and future. It is still fall. And there is still a lot of living get to do before winter. Remember what I wrote yesterday I do know that one can still hold onto the memories living in the present ... it is the memories that form the present.

So today I'll start fresh ... mind, body, attitude, hope, grace and forgiveness.

Please join me in the journey.

Live your present today.

Memories of Tuesday

Dinner at the "Pancake House"

Le Petite ... best salad dressing in town

Mormor and grandpa

"I'm surprised that house hasn't fallen down"

"Let your grandpa open the door"

Combat

Rolling tennis ball down the hallway

The Red Skelton Hour

Instant coffee: Sanka

Blue station wagon

Broiled grapefruit

I learned about how to order at restaurants.

I learned that the man was supposed to open the door.

I learned that my grandpa drove with one foot on the gas and one on the brake!

I learned that he drove too slow on the freeway.

I learned that you could build a house on the side of a hill ... and it wouldn't fall down.

I learned that dinner with family was important

I learned that Tuesday was a special day

I learned that grandparents help families

What do you remember?

Transitions

This morning as I opened the curtain and looked it ... there was a spotlight ... what appeared to be a circular glow from the moon. The first thought that came to mind ... was "ah the moon is so perfect". But wait ... the moon is the moon ... and today at 5:30 AM the moon had a special look ... and perhaps at that moment it time it had reached its fullness. Now it is 6:12 and I look west ... there is an orange glow rising behind the trees and soon the sun will come up. I looked east, the moon has set.

I am in the time of transition

night to day

life to death

weekend to workweek

sleep to wake

We are in a constant state of transition ... of life ... of change.

But the moon is not perfect in its fullness ...

Nor is the sunrise is perfect in its hues ...

They too are in transition.

Perhaps we need to remember that it is the present in which we need to do justice, to serve, rejoice, love, and live fully.

Enjoy your day of transitions!

For All the Saints

For all the saints who from their labors rest.

For all the saints who this day still labors.

For all the saints to come ...

Thanks be to God.

I love this day in the church ... remembering those who have departed ... smiles, tears, memories, love, grief.

Sounds

I haven't been able to figure out how to adequately capture in words the sounds to convey meaning and thought and feeling.

I think it is raining outside (not sure why the phrase often includes "outside" ... because if it were raining inside I would just freak out about a leak) and then the rain is confirmed by the spinning of tires and the spitting of water. Yup, the forecasters were right, it would be a rainy Halloween. It began early in the morning. Not quite sure when as I decided there was really no need for a clock in the bedroom. After dosing again I begin to hear an alarm from the cell phone far away in another room ... it must be 5:30. But it is Saturday and I'm not getting up early (ha). A bit more sleep then again I awake. Time to get up .... no sense tossing and turning and not having "meaningful" sleep and images flying through the depths of my soul into my awareness.

Gurgling water sputters into coffee grinds

Singing front porch chimes

An 18 wheeler along 590

The refrigerator says time to cool again

The chimes in a gentle rhythm

Teddy settling on his pad

Breathing into the floor

George Winston on the ivories

The gurgling becomes aroma

All is quiet

Then a gentle rhythm of keys

Morning has broken

Time for coffee.

Care to join me?

Am on Day Six of my journey

Morning Has Broken

A wonderful fall morning. There I was just doing what I do in the morning, taking Teddy for a walk. Heading north on Shaftsbury and turning right at Clover. The leaves were crisp and while Teddy was busy with his zig zag sniffing and smelling I was kicking the leaves enjoying the sounds and feeling young. He was heading toward a favorite smell spot when I looked up and saw the silhouette of the tree against the colors of the sky. Pretty amazing. Oranges, pinks, blues, white.

Could I make it home to get the camera? I broke a personal rule and walked across my neighbor's lawn and got home ... Teddy wanted nothing to do with going in the house (he wasn't finished) so .. well you don't need to know the details.

Grabbed the camera and headed back to the "spot" and God kept the show going a bit longer! The shot has been on my desktop all day ... it takes my breath away and I slow down whenever I would catch a glimpse of it.

The glory of the heavens.

The painting of the skies.

The clouds gliding along.

The bareness of the tree.

Thanks be to God.

Contemplation

Where do you go to think?

The Haunting

As approaching my morning reading chair with coffee in hand there snuggled into the back corner of the chair was a Ball Wide Mouth jar. I am being haunted. What was it doing there? How did it get there? Have I really gone over the edge with all this canning?

Side, random thought: Why do they call it canning when we put it in jars? Shouldn't it be jarring?

As I write this ... the chicken stock has been simmering for three hours. Close your eyes and imagine the smells filling the air. its a cross between soup ... and roasted turkey. Carrots, celery, bay leaves, onion, salt and pepper. And of course the chicken.

I straightened up the living room tonight ... ... and the canning storage area (aka dining room) ... it seemed that everywhere I turned there was just one more thing that I had used or will need this weekend. Then there are the jars that are in the car ... at the office ... and I am sure elsewhere.

Canning in my sleep

Canning in the office

Canning in the kitchen

I am haunted by all the cars ...

But I must say ... I am loving this canning!

Colors

Meghan, Sue, Faye!

Soon winter will be here (don't groan).

The last three days have been amazing ... leaves are at their peak in the area and the sky a brilliant blue. The only thing needed is the full moon!

But it is the COLORS of the season that call to me ... red, green, yellow, orange, blue ... and every shade in between. They call one me into their warmth ... even as the days grow cooler. It is as if they soak the warmth from the air and leave "a chill in the air". In turn, the air soaks the humidity from the leaves releasing their bond with the limbs and they fall to the ground and we get the crunch.

All of this in preparation for the winter ... when the colors disappear and we experience the blacks and whites of winter ... the humidity comes back as rain, hail and snowflakes ... and the crunch turns to the softness of snow.

Sue and the girls ... they fit so well in the fall colors ... they exude the warmth of the season ... they laugh, the jump in the piles ... and the crunch ... mmm ... thanks Barbie for helping make the leaf pile! Maybe tomorrow we can do it again!

Ellensberg, WA

What was I thinking?

I wanted to put up apples this year (after I had already done a bushel of tomatoes and some peaches). So one Saturday I stopped at a farmer's market and told my regular vendor my plan. Two friends were coming over the next day and I needed a blend of apples for sauce and another for just what would become apple pie filling! What was I thinking?

I left with four, count them, one, two, three, four bushels of apples. Sue assured me that if I kept them cold I could put off doing all of them ...

So here I am four weeks later. The applesauce is done ... I'm thinking about 48 quarts ... plus the apple butter.

Next week ... apple pie filling.

What was I thinking?

I think I will go walk Teddy.

p.s. I used a quart of my own tomato sauce in soup tonight. Will see how it turns out at lunch tomorrow.

p.s. again ... There are at least 10 more quarts that have been given away already!

My Eyes Looks to the Hills

Bonanza, Wenatchee National Forest

I seem to be looking down a lot these days ... seeking that paths, looking for clarity. My neck is even getting sore!!! So thought today I should look up .. enjoy the beauty. Its that balance thing! I do notice though that when the head is looking down ... the whole body and motion keeps has a downward spiral. So today ... it is time to look up.

The hills are alive!

Lift your eyes on high!

Clarity

Walking the lake

It seems so clear

Reflecting the a tree line

The changing sky

Give it a minute

Toss a stone

Canadian geese come in for a landing

The image is blurred

So quickly it changes

From clarity to rippled

Sitting here for hours

Looking for answers

Distorted ... muddied

Clear ... concise

Life

God grant me strength to step forward.

As the lake will forever be changing

A well marked path

oh how I wish my path was this clearly marked. The entrance to the labyrinth is clear and it is "simple" to follow ... although it does take some time.

The Road Not Taken ...

by Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

What road have you taken?

Or did you take them both?

Who was your guide?

Listen

Sounds are bombarding from every direction. The loudspeaker, people talking to one another, the tapping of fingers on the computer, a phone rings, paper crinkles, ice in a glass, a zipper on a backpack, the hum of an airplane engine, the unfolding of foil, the biting into a sandwich.

I don't think that was what this message was what was intended when it was left at the labyrinth.

Listen to God ... listen to others.

Shhhh walk away from noise pollution.

Find time today ...

Home On The Range

I've been gone a week .... wonderful away time ... no computer, no phone, just reading, writing and walking. Now time to go home. Tomorrow will have limited access again tomorrow, which is good ... as today was here to much.

How to you manage disconnecting from the electronic age we are in?

I bet there is no internet access in either of these buildings.

Welcome

Signs of welcome ... They way we say we are are glad you are here. This welcome pole sits at a center point in the village. Reaching to the sky it offers a place for families to meet, for newcomers to explore, and for returning guests to know they have come back.

What signs of welcome have you in your home? in your office?

How do you greet those who are strangers and those you know?

Silence

Today is the day to sit ... reflect ... to be.

Care to join me?

Running to the Mountain

I took this picture a year ago Monday. The first snow had fallen on Buckskin ... and fall was descending on the village. It was a quiet time at the mountain and the village was shifting from summer to winter mode. The colors will be changing, Railroad Creek beginning to run low, the fawns grown, the children in school, the village settling into a new routine.

Someone said "Have fun!" Fun ... that seemed an odd word. I'm not looking for fun, I'm running to the mountain to seek quiet and disconnect and reconnecting. I'm contemplating a day of silence. Walking, writing, reading. No meetings, no reports, no budgets. Walking, writing, reading. Who knows ... perhaps I can calm and move through the labyrinth. Your prayers are sought ....