The Final Day of 2008

What a grand year this has been.  So many things to be thankful for ... this list will only touch all of the glorious things I have been blessed with.

1.  A six month sabbatical to rest, renew, and refresh.  It is something that all folks should be able to have.  With the hectic lifestyle that seems to have overtaken much of society ... we need to rethink what we expect in the work world and for families.  There is more to life than being busy.  It is not easy being quiet ... and it will be a goal for me in 2009

     2.  New friends ... old friends.  Friendships!  They are the best. 

3.  Photography.  I spent many hours trying to hone my photographic skills this year ... and I have a long way to go. Again ... needing to slow down, being more intentional, taking less photos and keeping a larger portion of them.  

4.  Faith community.  I am so fortunate to be part of a faith community in which to learn and grow.

5.  Family.  As I said yesterday family is important.  I am so fortunate to be close to family and know that we genuinely love one another and are there for each other when we needed (and sometimes when not!!!)

6.  Babies.  There seem to be babies and babies this year.  Friends at church, friends at work, my niece, and of course the baby Jesus.  Experiencing the waiting with others, seeing they change, sharing in their excitement.  Its been a while since there have been so many babies in "my world".  

7. Financial stability.  In a time when so many folks are struggling financially I am fortunate to have resources to live comfortably.  To be able to travel to family, give to others, and pay my bills.  

8.  Health.  Its been a healthy year.  For me (lots of walking and eating well) this year. For my family folks have been healthy.  Yes we are all getting a bit older, our eyesight isn't as good as it was, nor is our memory and hearing.  But we are healthy given our ages!

9.  Holden Village.  Yes, it is in the top ten.  The time there was good, the learnings superb, wonderful new friendships ... and even now that I have left, I am still connected.  I left part of me there, I brought part of it home with me, and stay connected.

10.  A Moment in Time.  For each moment in time that I have had this year ... I am so grateful.  

Goodbye 2008 ... Hello 2009

Family

As the year comes to a close one reflects on the one's many gifts. 

One of mine is the gift of family.

Now families aren't always the easiest to be part of ... 

but families are definitely worth the work!

Families are

love   conflict   resolution   

work   joy   laughter   

patience   support    hope    

faith   belief   love   

We are also members of other families.

Make a list of all your "families" 

Its pretty special!

And give thanks

 

This is my family of origin

    Doug, Me, David

    Mom & Dad

The Quiet of the Night

Early evening 

Quiet, reflection, renewal 

Through the transition of dusk 

I settle into the quiet.   

Shhhh

Hear the flicker of the frame

Touch the warmth of the air

Smell the freshness of trees

Taste the snow on tongue

Look up ... starry starry night

How do you unwind?

4th Day Of Christmas

On the 4th day of Christmas my true love gave to me

       Four Calling Birds

Some say that this represents the four Gospels:  

Matthew, Mark, Luke and John.

Today in church we heard from the Gospel of John:

"In the beginning was the Word, 

and the Word was with God, 

and the Word was God."

The elements

The elements have made themselves known today:  earth, water, air, and fire.  

 

The day started with a bright orange sky to the west (fire).

It is cold and wind.  And I mean windy (air).

The creek behind the house is running fast (water).

And we walk this earth.

Surrounded by these elements.

Created to give.

Created to love.

Home

I'm wondering what really is home.  Is it where I live? Is it where I grew up? I just returned from a week at my folks.  I remember moving there when I was 10.  Eight years later I headed off to college only to spend one or two subsequent summers there.  Is it home?

I write this sitting in the comfort of my living room.  Teddy on the floor to my right, the Christmas tree lit in front of the window.  Soon I will light the fire, and a few candles.  Tomorrow dinner company. 

One can have more than one home.  My heart is here in Rochester, yet at times I yearn to return home to other places where my heart has been ...  Chico, Oakland, Holden.  

I think that home is not a place.  Home is where I encounter others with an open heart.  It is walking the trails, coffee at 4224 Pasadena, folding laundry in thirds, serving wine at the eucharist, looking out over the San Francisco bay, riding a bike through the skugen of bastad.  Sometimes I am home by myself, sometimes with others.  Home is family, is friends, home is self.

Where do you call home?

Choices

Making choices can sometimes be difficult.  Weigh the options, make the list, consider the pros and cons.  We have been living in a world of excess where we are told we can have it all.  

I remember stories my parents told us about after the war and finding a place to live. Connecting with friends and being aware of where there might be an apartment available as they were hard to come. First baby came and they made the small one bedroom work.  Baby two pushed the limit and off they went to a two bedroom.  Baby three (that's me) squished them out of that house and off to a three bedroom.  Five people, three bedrooms, one bath, one car, one dog (that didn't make it very long ... don't panic ... he was returned to the pound).  Choices were limited ... we made it ... and made many happy memories.

Fast forward half a century and someone out said folks could have it all.  The result:  Excess. Bankruptcy.  Stressed children, stressed parents, a stressed society.

Choices.  It is our choice.  We have the free will.

Will you pick both the green and the yellow?  Or will you be patient enough until the green becomes ready and turns to yellow?

The Blessed Birth

Behold

The story had been told

Jesus 

Traditions

Traditions help us with transitions!

Yup ... that's me ... with Grandpa.

Many moons ago 

My guess is about 50 years ago.

Wearing a dress that Grandpa bought

He bought me one every year for Christmas.

The doll?  I still have her

She "lives" in the cedar chest in my basement.

And is played with on occasion by Meghan and Faye.

Back to Christmas Eve.

Every year at 83 Dudley Avenue

From 1956 - 2000

The family would gather for Swedish Smorgasbord

Herring, meatballs, cheese, meats, rice pudding, eggs, salad, etc.

Following dinner the reading of the Christmas story from Luke 

Then there would be music

Whatever grandchild was taking lessons would play

Finally the presents.

Always something from my grandparents

And that was the night that we got new pajamas.

Fast forward to 2008

The family will gather at my brothers.

Much will remain the same

Swedish smorgasbord

Now we have added salmon to the mix

I have responsibility for the rice pudding

No music any more :(

The Christmas story will be read

The $5 gift exchange will begin

There will be the normal conversation

How many times you can "steal" a gift and how many times a gift can be "stolen".

A strange new tradition.

But we have our transitional object ... the Bible 

The story of the birth of Jesus

The Bible has been the one main constant

"The grass withers the flower fades 

but the word of the Lord is forever"

Shhh ... don't tell anybody 

Tomorrow ... the baby will be born!

The pleading words of Advent will turn into the upbeat pace of Joy to the World

We can really say Merry Christmas

It is the beginning of the journey of wise men (and women)

But the best news of all

The baby

That Mary had cared for

That Joseph ensured a warm place for the birth

The baby ... his name will be Jesus

God made flesh

Transition

Early morning and early evening are two of the best times to take photographs because of the lighting ... both times of transition ... between light and dark.   In life I often just want to get through the transition. Yet perhaps it is in the chugging and churning of the transition that we can deeply feel loss of what has been and anticipation of what is to come.

I remember a friend telling me about a young child who had been prenatally exposed to drugs who struggled with the simple transition of going from one activity to another in school.  For example leaving the classroom to go to another room in the school was particularly difficult.  What worked well for this child was to have a "transitional object" ... something that he kept at his desk that he could carry with him to the other room.  

I think we all have transitional objects that we take with us ... to help us feel grounded (no not the cell phone).  For some it might be a special object in a pocket (I have one friend who has a cross, another has a nail to remind him that he is grounded in Christ, his death and resurrection).  

Christmas really is a time of transition and history and remembrances.  Who we were, who we are, and who we will become.  All part of our journey. Everyday is a transition from yesterday to tomorrow.  

Time grows closer

The Train

There is something calming about trains.

Gliding along the countryside

humming along the tracks

Rubbish gathered over time

Mix matched chairs on their sides

Torn open plastic bags

Worn tires

Back yards in ruin

The mothball fleet

Fields of gold

Rows of green

Trees grown old

Pastoral scenes

I am but a voyeur

Stations 

Platforms

Desolate

Moving in slow motion

Hear the sounds

Clicking along

The approach horn

The crossing bells 

My annual trek

Sacramento - Oakland

Over the causeway

Through the valley

Along the bay

The Capitol Corridor

Sacramento

Davis

Dixon

Suisun - Fairfield

Martinez

Richmond

Berkeley

Emeryville

Oakland

Answering the Angel

 

So many years ago     

The angel Gabriel spoke to Mary     

You shall bear a child     

She started the new family     

With God made flesh     

O come, Desire of nations, bind     

In one the hearts of all mankind;     

Bid Thou our sad divisions cease     

And be Thyself our King of Peace     

                                                                                                                                      http://www.cyberhymnal.org/htm/o/c/ocomocom.htm

Snow ...

Ready to go! They told us to get ready. So for me that meant making sure the snow "thrower" would work! Schools were closed before the snow even started to fall in anticipation that the weather would be worse as the day wore on. The garage floor was dry, the thrower ready

It was amazing ... it started right at 9AM when they said it would! And it snowed and snowed and snowed. I finally left the office about three ... leaving behind four folks with a deadline and the drive home was ... well ,... sloppy. The commute for most folks about twice as long as usual depending which direction you were heading.

By the time I turned down Shaftsbury all I saw were plows doing the driveways ... and ruts in the snow. It had been a few hours since they had been down this way.

All in all ... I would say there was about 9 inches of snow in the driveway. It took me about an hour do "throw" the snow ... and did a bit of sidewalks.

Teddy ...

why he has the most fun I would say

Spinning through the season?

Is this how you feel?

The season of advent .... the season of waiting .... 

We can slow down ... 

its okay to say no to the invites, the excess, the spinning

I did that last night

Am doing it this morning

The work will still be there

And I know I am more effective when I'm not in a tail spin.

Both of these images are from my Christmas tree ... 

I can interpret and receive its beauty in either way.

During this season of advent ... I pick the second picture.

What do you see when you look at your tree?

All Tied Up

I remember so clearly learning how to tie my shoes.  Now those of you that know me ... can guess how many years ago that was!  I don't remember the steps exactly, but I do remember something about loops and using my index finger to hold it secure.  Then there were those very special times when it was important to make a double knot.  That was when I wanted to be sure that they stayed tied tight.  You know the routine.

I met someone over the summer that ALWAYS ties his shoes in quad-knots.  He said that he wanted to make sure they would never come undone.  Might it also have something to do with control?  Fear of losing control?  Being in control?  Sometimes don't we need a quick exit?  How hard might it be to get out of shoes with four knots?  That would just make me nervous!  Someday I'll write about training without shoes (but you will have to wait until I get a pedicure for that picture!)

But heck why do we sometimes get ourselves all tied up in knots?  I can't ever imagine getting out of a fix like this ... 

What gets you tied up in knots?

Patterns ...

One of my favorites!

Look around you ... see the patterns ... why are they there?    what are they?

Clue:  Springtime

Clue:  Taken outside

Clue:  Taken outside

Clue:  Taken inside

Why heck ... this one is obvious!

Love is All Around

Hearts are everywhere.

As you wander these days ... I challenge you to find a few ... 

It might be in nature

The shape of a leaf

The twisting of limbs

You might find it in an action taken by a child

In the eyes of an adult

Place your hand on a baby 

Notice its movement

Mary rests her hand on her womb

Feel the rhythm

Share your heart with another 

Sit with someone else for lunch

Drop someone a note

Make a call

Hearts ... they are everywhere

Love is all around

Morning's Light

Morning stillness

Gentle air

Soft lights

The emptiness of space

Begins to fill

Fresh smells of coffee

Light in the window

Pink cotton candy clouds

Melodies spread into open space

Gentle words are offered

"Nothing can trouble

Nothing can frighten

Those who seek God shall

never go wanting

Nothing can trouble

Nothing can frighten

God alone fills us"

I had forgotten how peaceful this time can be ...

How did you spend the breaking of the dawn?

Luciadagen: Service and Light

One of the biggest celebrations during this season is Sweden is Luciadagen on December 13th. The celebration comes from stories that were told by Monks who first brought Christianity to Sweden.  St Lucia was a young Christian girl who was martyred, killed for her faith, in 304AD. The most common story told about St Lucia is that she would secretly bring food to the persecuted Christians in Rome, who lived in hiding in the catacombs under the city. She would wear candles on her head so she had both her hands free to carry things. 

December 13th was also the Winter Solstice, the shortest day of the year, in the old 'Julian' Calendar and a pagan festival of lights in Sweden was turned into St. Lucia's Day.

In modern Sweden we are told that in homes around the country the oldest daughter dressed in a white dress with a red sash around her waist and a crown of candles on her head would serve saffron buns and coffee to her family. The crown is made of Lingonberry branches which are evergreen and symbolise new life in winter. 

Now truth be told my guess is the girl wears her pajamas ... skips the crown of candles ... but does serve fresh bread to her family.  

This year I had my traditional Lucia party ... meatballs, bread fresh from the oven, and delicious goodies brought by all.  The house was lit by candles and the lights from the tree.  The most common question of the evening ... was I going to don the candles and walk around.  Alas no, not this year ... nor did I last year, nor the year before.  

But sometime in the 60s I was the Lucia at church.  I wore the robe, the red sash, the wreath and candle (yes real candles) and served coffee and cookies at the smorgasbord.  Once was enough ... and perhaps I might someday find a picture.

I think the important thing to remember about the whole Lucia thing ... 

Serving the poor

Bringing light into darkness

Today ... reach out ... serve others, bring light into the darkness

Snow Falls

Waiting

Awaiting

Preparing

With joy

Coupled with angst of the unknown

Anticipation

Curiosity

The baby is coming.

Nine months

36 weeks

252 days

Mary touches her womb

Wondering what God has in store for her

We wait

We light candles

We decorate trees

We pray

Wondering what God has is store for us.

     

Computerless

no photo in today's post.
I left the laptop at the office.
Actually I left both of them
Talk about excess.

I didn't bring my work one home
I left my mac at the office too
So here I sit ... using Mary Anne's
(she's here from Maine)

Maybe I just needed a break.

She just asked ...
"What did we did do before computers and laptops at home?"

I think I got more stuff done ...
Read more ...
You know the list ...

Without your computer what do you do ...
Other than not read my blog?

Becoming Real

Is it real?

Is it fake?

Let's be real

It is fake.

I've been told that I must be getting old if I have finally bought a fake tree.

I'm still not sure why I did it ...

I hate to admit it ... but I really don't like decorating the tree that much and for the last few years good friends have come over and had the honors. I sit on the couch, I hand them lights and ornaments and away they go. As each ornament comes out of the box there is a memory attached. A relationship, a time, part of the history of what eventually became me today and will a different me tomorrow.

I actually love a decorated tree ... after it is decorated

I can sit for hours and enjoy the stillness and silence.

Maybe this tree is more like us in our journey ..

As we grow in the womb we are all curled up

And over time ... we grow and develop ...

And give us some attention ... our lights come on

And we have a choice

We can shine

We can give peace

We can give love

We just have to be plugged in ...

God does that for us ... with our Baptism!

Tell me about your favorite ornament.

Colors of the Season

 Red lights

 Green lights

 Yellow lights

 Blue

 White lights

 Purple lights

 Orange lights

 You!

 Big lights

 Little lights

 Blinking lights

 Too!

 Tree lights

 Roof lights

 Hanging lights

 Yahoo!!!!

 What are your favorite?

Comfort, O comfort my people

In the midst of this busy time 

Take comfort in memories

The softness of the baby 

Skin as smooth as silk

That smell of freshness

The weight of their head in your hand

The wispiness of hair 

The Messiah is to come

Mary will give him comfort 

And the Messiah comes to comfort us

The Messiah feeds his flock like a shepherd

And gathers the lambs in his arms

Need to find peace in the chaos of your week?

Recall the baby in your arms

Season of Light

City streets glow

Homes outlined in color. 

Single bulbs in windows 

Lights ...

Shine the way

A symbol of lasting time

Safety

Welcome

Comfort

Let your light shine 

Friday Evening

The moon rises and shines at the end of another work week.
Friday evening ... will soon become Saturday morning

I do like the concept of the sabbath beginning tonight at sunset ... and moving into and through tomorrow. Five days of meetings, writings, reading, conceptualizing and constant motion. One person indicated that she felt she was on a wheel ... you know the kind in a hamster cage! Another wonders how it suddenly reach 4:30 ... another ends the week saying they have to go in tomorrow to get it all done.

What is becoming of the world ... the world we know ... the world that those of you are reading this know.

The wheel really did make life easier.
Fire was a great discovery
Then there was the sewing maching
The electric light bulb
The dishwasher
The microwave
The computer
The beeper
The cell phone
The internet
The blackberry

So many discoveries ...
So much to do ...

Are we on that hamster wheel?

I think I will turn out the lights
Its Friday evening ...

Time for quiet ...
Time for prayer ...
Time for writing ...
Time for friends ...
Time for family ...
Time for love.

As the sun sets to the west ...
Look to the sky ...
See the moon ... it is growing
See those two bright objects low in the west after sunset?
They are Venus and Jupiter ....
They are the brightest lights up after the sun goes down
They shine by reflecting the sun’s light.

Its Friday night ....
rest
spend time with those you love
spend time with yourself

God is good

How are you spending Friday night?

Are these days back?

The Advent Bridge

Pleading, reassuring, waiting and hastening, preparing.

Words of the season of advent

Desiring wholeness ... pleading for it to come.

Being reassured that we are on the path that leads forward

Waiting for what is coming

Hastening to get there

Preparing for the journey

The holy child will come.
The holy child will bridge heaven and earth

Connecting us at once with all

In God's image and love.

What bridge are you building?

Rufus

I work with an incredible team of people.  All committed to strengthening the emotional health of children in the corner of the world in which they wander.  Together we work to make the world a better place ... sometimes one child and one family at a time.

Tonight we celebrated the anticipated birth of "Rufus".  Now "Rufus" isn't his real name ... it is the name I have given the child to be born ... The parents are so excited ... they smile when they talk about the future.  This baby will be decked out in the finest fashions ... will have a real radio flyer wagon with wood sidings, lotions to keep the skin soft and parents who are attentive.  Grandparents have been advised that what was safe 30 years ago doesn't meet today's standards.  Heck 50+ years ago they didn't even have seat belts in cars.

But let's get back to Rufus.  Rufus really will be named Kyle.  

Kyle will be surrounded by love and hope and belief in all that is good.  

Kyle will be brought to the holy waters of baptism.

Kyle will be held in the arms of parents and grandparents who will see his goodness.

Kyle will have a mother and father who know how to laugh, love, and play!

Kyle will come into a village of love, of faith, of anticipation of what is to come!

So appropriate during these days of advent ... these days of waiting and yearning for a child ... 

Kyle will most likely be born in a hospital.

The baby Jesus was born in a manger.

Both births highly anticipated ... 

Both births bringing hope for the future

May Kyle be surrounded with love and confidence and boundaries and faith

May those of us that surround Kyle hold him in the everlasting love of God ... may he experience the open hands of grace ... the warmth of forgiveness ... and may he respond to the call to serve.

Yes ... Kyle is much anticipated. 

His parents wait and hope and love ... 

His grandparents spoil and give him guidance.

His extended "village" smile with love and joy 

Yes ... Kyle, know that you are loved ... and very much anticipated.

For whom are you waiting?